WEBSITES:

• I’ve reworked CRAVEMYHEART, so it’s a little easier to look through. It is still not officially open though.
• Added some new stuff the THE SCREAM PROJECT, but no recent reviews. I will try to get a few in over the weekend.
• SHAUNMORGANFAN is almost up and running, i’ve got a lot of stuff put into that, and Im currently working on the photogallery. This one is taking the brunt of my work, and its driving me up the wall.
• I’m also spending spare time working on a website for my Aunt’s salon, which once I get the full go ahead for will be taking ALL of my time.

ARTWORK:

• Did a quick photoshop painting of a what I call “ghostly guy”.
• 

MEDICATIONS:

• My psychiatrist was worried about the side effects I was having during my med change, and said it was too much, so she played with the doses and timings. She changed it so that I was no longer taking my Welbutrin (buproprion), which I was taking in combination with my Celexa (citalopram) for my depression. She then moved the new medication, abilify, (Aripiprazole) to the morning and left me for a week. I saw her yesterday, and she said I was doing well, so she upped my abilify (Aripiprazole) to 10mg instead of 5. So now I take Celexa 50mg and Abilify 10mg in the morning, and Seroquel 400mg at night. Once she gets the abilify up, she will start tapering off the Seroquel. Eventually, I will only be taking two medications instead of three.

WEIGHT LOSS

• I have offically hit my 50lbs lost mark. It seems it has taken me a little longer than other people, but I have a lot of weight gain medications that I’m on at the moment as well. I am losing the weight much faster now that I have been taken down from my full dose of Seroquel. I am currently at 240lbs, and started just over 290lbs. I have a tendency to get stuck at nice round numbers for a while, so I should be stuck above 240 for a little while and then drop quickly to 230lbs, that’s usually the way it works. I am, however, creeping closer to my goal. Only 100lbs left to lose.

JAW

• My jaw has been very messed up, I’ve tried everything other than surgery. Recently I’ve been going to a combination of physio and message therapy to see if that relieves the tension in the muscle enough that I can comfortably yawn, talk and chew. It seems to be doing an alright job. I can now yawn, and talk, and chewing is coming a long nicely as well. I still have to unlock it in the morning and when I yawn, but it doesn’t hurt like it did. As well, It doesn’t pull to the right as much as it used to. I look a lot like a freaky horror movie sometimes, because when I open my mouth to yawn, it pulls to the right, and Im pretty grotesque looking. Luckily I’m looking better.

Annnnd, I think that’s all

todays musical suggestion: if you like electro/jungle try some PENDULUM!

Peach Snapps and Diet Pepsi is AMAZING.

The End.

-JIL

I’m at Austin’s sitting on his computer and hanging out with his roommate while he’s still at work. Poor guy is going to have to work overtime since the caller he has is a nut bar.

I need to finish Shaun Morgan Fan, and update Crave My Heart. Neither of which I can do from here since I don’t have the files, etc I need.

So this is me wasting time.

Night!

Evanescence is back (ArtistDirect.com)
Evanescence will be taking over 2010 with their highly anticipated third studio album due for late August/early September release date. Front woman, Amy Lee confirmed that Evanescence will be entering the studio this week to begin work on their third album with Grammy Award Winning producer Steve Lillywhite.

One of the coolest things I ever saw at a Disney event was when Lee took the stage at Nightmare Before X-Mas 3-D at Hollywood’s El Capitan theater two Halloweens ago for an entrancing, engaging and endlessly awesome rendition of “Sally’s Song” from Nightmare Revisited. She’s grown immensely as a vocalist, and this new album promises to be one of the most important rock records of the year.

“I can’t expain how excited I am to make this record,” said Amy Lee. “Over the past year and a half these songs have become the center of my life, and I can’t wait to hear what they grow into in the studio. I think our sound is evolving into something that will surprise people, in a very good way. I feel, as always, that growth can be an incredible, limitless thing if you let it. I never want to make the same album twice.”

The band, famous for hits like “Bring Me to Life”, “My Immortal,” “Going Under” and “Call Me When You’re Sober”, promises to stay true to the core Evanescence sound while integrating additional new sounds to create “another world.” The music’s core, which ranges from whisper- soft to painfully aggressive spans sounds of rock, goth and classical, led by Lee’s passionate vocals.

Evanescence is founder Amy Lee on vocals, piano, keyboards and harp; Terry Balsamo on guitar; Tim McCord on bass; Will Hunt on drums; and new collaborator Will “Science”, who will provide programming and drums, as well as additional production.

Evanescence has sold nearly 20 million records worldwide, more than 8 million in the U.S. alone, and won two Grammys® with their major-label debut Fallen, and a Grammy® nomination with their second album, The Open Door.

by Rick Florino
Source ArtistDirect.com

Since I’ve given the painting to the person it was painted for (my boyfriend, Austin) I decided that I can now post the finished version.

It says his full name in binary. I think it turned out pretty good. He liked it, I think

Sorry for the short post, I just needed a bit of a break from designing SMF. Time to get back to work.

Just a quick post to show off some things I’ve done in the last little while, then I’m going to go watch a movie. I was going to start on Shaun Morgan Fan.net but I figured I’d fall asleep or something, so I’ll start on that tomorrow.

So, yesterday, I bought two adorable barettes for my hair that match my “miss monster” necklace, both shown below:

I also, as an early birthday present to myself, got a labret piercing. It was kind of spurt of the moment, though.

I also bought a movie called “Bloody Mary” because I’m a sucker for cheap, b movie horror movies. It was 6 bucks, so I grabbed it. It’s not actually bad at all. The acting is kind of horrible, but the movie itself is half decent. They had another one called “mortuary” which I’m going to go back and get.

I’m also working on two paintings. Actually, one I just finished, and the other I’m finishing early tomorrow. Both are gifts so I can’t really show you them, but I do want to show you the second one at the stage it is at currently, because it’s so cute. It’s a little 3×3 canvas that stands on a itty bitty easel.

I’ll post both completed paintings here (and at my portfolio) tomorrow after I’ve given them to the recipient.

Last night I managed to get some sleep so I’m feeling a bit better. The lack of sleep makes you feel worse. Then I grabbed a shower and I feel wonderful. Sedated and a bit shaky but otherwise wonderful.  That, and I’m watching The Big Bang Theory, which just plain makes me happy.

I manged to keep down some soup earlier, so I’m probably on my way to getting over the withdrawal. Thankfully. For a few days I felt a lot like a drug addict. Itchy on the inside, shaking, anxious, nauseated and clammy. If I started picking at my skin and had some seizures, I would have been exactly like a detoxing meth addict. Very disgusting feeling. I have a difficult time explaining the exact feeling either.

I’m still agitated, but otherwise well. I’ll probably post again if things get worse again. But until then, I wipe my brow. I’m glad its passing.

I attempted to sleep around 4:30am, and managed to succeed around 5:30am. I was tossing and turning a lot, and beyond jittery before I managed to get to sleep. I hope Austin wasn’t too disturbed and managed to sleep well enough.

I took some rapid release Tylenol before I attempted sleep. It “rapid releases” in my pouch and hits me pretty hard, so I hoped it would help me sleep and take away most of my migraine. It seemed to work alright. So, I slept alright. Nothing compared to what I usually sleep, but it wasn’t totally bad. I am completely spacey right now though, which is a horrible feeling.

I haven’t been eating either due to the nausea that accompanies the medication switch. However, I grabbed a bagel just now, and though I’m eating it slow I am keeping it down. Also, I never chose bagels before because I was afraid it would get stuck in my pouch (most doughy breads do). Let me explain that for anyone who cares:

When foods get stuck in my lapband, it causes a tense and uncomfortable feeling in my chest, basically just below my esophagus near my diaphragm. The body then produces a lot of saliva and mucus trying to get it down, which is called “sliming” by lapband patients. Most times the sliming works, and it passes through relieving the pain. Other times it doesn’t work, and I feel like I must vomit and hiccup a lot trying to get it to move, sometimes I don’t have a choice and have to vomit. This vomiting is rare, and I try to avoid it as much as possible. If you vomit too much, you can make the band slip.

Most food goes down fine, but I do have trouble with some. For instance, french fries, rice, steak, overcooked/dry chicken, doughy breads, really dry crackers, some sandwich meats if I don’t chew them well enough. Basically anything that I cannot chew properly. They advise us to chew 20 times per bite, to make sure its broken down enough. Sometimes I must chew much more than that.

Which is why I haven’t chosen bagels since before my surgery, because I was afraid of the trouble it may cause. However, right now as I still here munching on one, I have had no trouble, and it seems to be staying down even though I have constant nausea. This is  awesome.

Okay, enough. Back to work!

Since I’m awake, I thought I’d write this entry.

My psychiatrist is switching my anti-psychotic medications. I’m switching from Seroquel (Quetiapine) to Abilify (aripiprazole). I am on day two of the switch, (well, day three but I haven’t taken my dose yet).

So far I’m going out of my mind. I’m starving, but thinking of food makes me want to vomit and eating food makes me actually vomit. I cannot sleep, and when I do I sleep in short bursts, toss and turn, and feel anxious and jittery all night. So, tonight, I decided to with-go the sleeping, and since my boyfriend has to get up in the early AM, I figured I’d give him the night to sleep without me tossing and turning next to him.

I haven’t kept any food down today, other than flat pepsi and popsicles. Even though I made a delicious dinner for the Austin and I, I couldn’t eat it, I hate a bite or two before vomiting though. Vomiting, however, is a very difficult ordeal for lapband patients. We can only really vomit if there is something in our “pouch” (the small part of the stomach above the band). If its empty we can only dry heave.

During the day I’m spacey, anxious and jittery. I’ve got limited focus. Oddly enough, I can focus on writing and coding, but I was unable to focus any amount of attention on the movies I was trying to watch today.

Currently I’m jittery as hell, cannot sit still, and I’ve been clenching my jaw like you wouldn’t believe. And since I’m keeping busy, I’ve reading a bit on abilify (aripiprazole). My doctor switched me thinking it’d be safer for me to be on a newer anti-psychotic, as well she would like to see if I would lose any more weight since those taking it are less likely to gain weight. Most of the problems I’ve been having is probably due to the withdrawl from Seroquel more than having side effects from the Abilify. Usually, I have the same symptoms at night (the insomnia, jittery-ness, anxiety, and restless mind) if I forgot a dose of Seroquel. Which is why I am slowly coming off of the Seroquel and onto the Abilify.

Finding it odd that Abilify is being used to treat Autism. Side effects: Akathisia, headache, unusual tiredness or weakness, nausea, vomiting, an uncomfortable feeling in the stomach, constipation, light-headedness, insomnia, sleepiness, shaking, and blurred vision. Uncontrollable twitching or jerking movements, tremors, seizure, and weight gain. Some people may feel dizzy, especially when getting up from a lying or sitting position, or may experience a fast heart rate. (All on top of my already recently diagnosed vertigo)

I’ve pretty much got all of those, except the tremors and seizures. So, basically, in short, this is going to be a wonderful two weeks. I’ll probably be posting nightly as I deal with the switch

This is my first entry just testing things out.